An awakening

A teacher at No. 11 told me last week she wanted to introduce a foreign teacher to me and I got really excited. I met him the next day (Wednesday) for lunch. His name is Benny and he is from Kenya. His age is questionable, I'm guessing upper 20s and he has been here for a year already and planning to stay through the rest of this one. Lunch went well but he did not try to get my number so I figured that was it. The next day the teacher that introduced us called me again and asked if it was okay for her to give him my number. Of course I said okay, and a few minutes later I received a text from him saying sorry that he did not try to get my number the day before and wanted to know if I was free for dinner because his friend, who was also a foreign teacher, wanted to meet me. So I left No. 7 school around 530PM to meet them at the restaurant we ate at the day before. I met up with both of them and I followed them to a restaurant really far away. Well it wasn't that far away, expect this was the first time that I had rode my bike anywhere besides to No. 11 and back to No. 7. It took around 10 or 15 minutes before we arrived. The dinner went well, there were some awkward times when Benny was on the phone and silence took over Jake and me. Jake is from Michigan by the way, and is 19. The whole time I kept thinking how much my friend Melanie would think he was cute. haha. Anyway, after dinner they showed me how to get back to the restaurant where we met and asked if I could make it back on my own. Considering the lights stop working a minute or two from that restaurant, I asked if they could show me back because it is literally pitch dark for 10 minutes straight until I reach No. 7. They said okay and rode back until I could see my school and left. I don't want to complain, but I guess I am used to my boyfriend always making sure I am home safe and that everything is alright before he leaves me. This was totally different and I was a little disappointed that they didn't care to make sure I got home alright. But what can I expect? I don't know them.

When I got home my roommate asked how my night went and I told her it was good. She asked if they paid and when I replied that we split the check she kinda freaked out. She has asked me about the paying situation before and told me she doesn't like how Americans always must split the check and pay for themselves. She says that is not what friends do and I understand where she's coming from. At home with my girlfriends we do both, and its not really a big deal. But with these strangers that are definitely not Chinese, they do it the American way and where everyone pays, which is totally fine with me. My roommate on the other hand thought it was ridiculous and kept saying, "But THEY invited YOU!"

I text Benny later that night and thanked him for inviting me to dinner and that I had fun. He replied with "It's okay." which I thought was an interesting choice of words, instead of something like "Not at all! I had a blast!" He then text me and said, "after we dropped you off Jake and I went to drink." I wasn't sure how to reply to that since he didn't say "wish you could come" or anything else really, so I was confused on what his point was. I replied with "Well if you want more people next time, I'm down." and he responded with "Yeah! Your roommate can come! It's set, I'll call you tomorrow." I don't think I told you, but all the Chinese girls here are in LOVE with American boys. They talked about the Michigan guy like they were both single and looking, yet my roommate has a boyfriend and her friend is engaged. Oh yeah, I finally figured out the girl's name who I like so much. Well kind of her name. My roommate calls her "Xiao Mun" so that is what I call her too, except I've never actually said her name out loud. Anyway, they were really excited.

The next day (Friday)...
My roommate wakes up and reminds me that we will see the boys tonight. (She was so excited. It was quite funny.) Five o'clock comes around and I don't hear anything from Benny. She asked me a few times already throughout the day if he called. He did not. It's around 7 o'clock when I tell her we shouldn't wait for them to call and to just go and eat something. She was worried that it was getting late and I explained to her that in America people don't usually go out drinking until later, like 10 or 11PM. Her eyes widened, she did a few calculations on her hand, and in a high but soft voice said, "But then that means you will drink into the NEXT DAY!" Up until now I hadn't really thought about how you are really drinking for literally two days, and I guess here she and her friends do not do that.

At dinner Si Yu kept insisting that I check my phone in case they tried to call us, and I assured her that if and when they did, we would hear it. I gave up on them calling at around 7:30PM and figured they knew what their plans were for the night, and if they wanted to include us, they would have let us know by now. Si Yu was getting really upset that they wouldn't even call us to tell us we were not hanging out. She asked why I wasn't getting angry with them and I tried to explain that in America, boys are like this and I guess I just expected that they wouldn't call because some boys are just selfish and regardless of what they said they were going to go, when it comes down to it, they are the only thing that matters. I asked if boys always call if they can't make it in China and she replied with, "ALWAYS!! Not only boys, but girls too!" She couldn't wrap her head around why these guys would tell us they wanted to hang out the night before and just leave us high and dry the next day. I taught her the phrase "We got ditched." It's not that I wasn't bummed that we were ditched, I guess I'm just used to how guys work back at home. They are just not as friendly and welcoming as the Chinese men are here. Being around those guys just reminded me of how individualistic American society can be and made me glad that I am in China where everyone matters and everyone is included. I can feel the love here, more than I ever could back at home. It comes mostly from people you hardly know, not just friends. Like the girl on the bus next to me coming back from BJ. She helped me put my jacket on when she saw I was having a problem. On any bus in Seattle, no one is going to help you with your jacket. It's the little things like that that make me love being Chinese and surrounded by the caring people that live here. What is that anthropological phrase for when you are doing field work and you start to be like them instead of study them? (They talked about it in "Nanny Diaries" and I can't remember. I am not worried, I know my dad will reply with the words. haha.) Well I guess I am Chinese, so it's not the same. I can't believe that I just now realized how Chinese I am and how much I love being Chinese. It's such a good feeling when you are proud  of your heritage and  of an amazing culture that you feel included in. A great self discovery. What a good end to a great day.  :) haha super cheesy.